You’re Building This House With A Girl!

We began planing and building our log home in April 2008. It is now nearly October and we are just getting the roof on.

So what’s the hold up?

Our team is only two strong and when it comes right down to brass tacks, our team is only one strong, with a helper. Eric and his helper. A girl. Me.

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Before I get too far into this post I need to clarify one point. We have had good friends coming in to help us build this log home, giving their time and expertise freely and consistently offering to lend a hand. Our team is in fact, much more than 1 + girl – but we are the primary builders here, this is our work and responsibility, and our friends have very busy lives already.

Because they are our friends we know precisely how busy they are and try not to call upon them too often.

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Back to the Builder and A Girl Story…

Somewhere in a city Chapters book store there is a new release on how to build a home without killing your husband, or how to survive a home building project and stay married, or something along those lines. My sister saw it and I heard it referenced somewhere else as well. If you know the title, please send it to me in a comment below.

The point is: this book is about husband, and wife, and a contractor.

The summary is: keeping your marriage alive when all you do is fight over the construction crew, materials, and color of a fresh home build or renovation.

My point is: Good grief! What is a marriage based on if you are going to fight with your spouse every day over such issues and you need to buy a book on how to get through the joyful experience of designing and building your own home? Especially when you have a contractor or builder managing all the nitty-gritty details!

I thought all that, two months ago.

Today a different take on the ‘joy’ of building a home with your mate.

Now I’m not saying my marriage is any different than the next one, but I am rather shocked that through the first five months of standing by and working alongside my husband not one harsh word has been spoken or major disagreement launched.

And I have laid Pex tubing till my fingers bled.
And I have hoisted my end of log, after log, weighing over 300 pounds each.
And I have moved countless sheets of plywood over my head.
And I have manouvered 20′ 2×12s from ground to floor to sill.
And I have stood in uncompromising positions (and unattractive positions for that matter) in dangerous places, during this build.
And I have also invested an entire summer, hours, days, weeks, weekends, months – of time, often sun up till sun down, on a project that I had no interest in. (“Let’s just buy a house with our rebuild fund.”)

But I’ve also learned to say “no” and that is where the trouble started.

“No, I’m not doing that.”
“No, I can’t lift that over my head.”
“No, I won’t just jump up on the rim of the house and hold that heavy wall in place while you secure it.”

This onset of ‘no’ and ‘can not’ adds a different air to the build and it isn’t the chilly October winds coming in. I’m starting to wonder if that book my sister saw might have some value after all…

As soon as I learned to say ‘no’ trouble ensued.

We’re on the toughest part of the build – the roof – and there are just some things that I cannot do – psychologically or physically.

I can not. Period.

On the very first mention of “I cannot…” my husband grew short with me and I shot it right back at him. So you see our marriage is no different than any other.

Eric is actually a very patient man. Most of the time he explains what needs to be done and how we’re going to tackle it. Sometimes the explanations make zero sense to me – remember that five months ago I had no idea how a rafter was any different than a joist, they were just lumber after all.

As he twisted his German head around to glare at me I simply placed my hands on my child rearing hips and yelled back, “Hello! You’re building this house with a girl! A GIR-r-R-R-L.”

I forgot to add in “…and a 45 year old girl at that!”

I guess he thought that since I could carry my end of a 300 pound log and was a tireless worker that I was just another guy…