Greatest Loss of The Fire

We recently suffered a house fire.

It was absolute devastation.

The village we live in does not have a fire department. The entire house burned down – right to the foundation.

Being an online type of girl, after the shock of losing everything, I wondered if there was a good resource for people who had experienced the same – but who weren’t sure what their next steps might be…

I surfed around, and found little. Certainly nothing worth a bookmark or mention. Nothing that had been written with any compassion – and people like you and I (those of us who have been through a house fire) need a lot of compassion.

First of all, please allow me to say this, “I am so sorry for your loss. Really.”

Whatever you lost in the house fire, is a tragic loss. A loss that you will have to find a way to move past in the coming years.

I personally only suffered one casualty in our house fire.

A cat. A cat that I was very, very, attached to.

Which brings me to my second statement, “People are going to say stupid things to you. Do not take any of it personally.”

The only person who is really going to ‘get’ what you’re going through right now, is someone who has suffered in the same way. If you lost a loved one (person or pet), you’re going to need professional help. Someone to help you grieve. I don’t care how tough you are, how much you’ve suffered in the past, or how many friends you have – if a life has been taken by fire, the survivors need professional help.

Yes, in my case it was ‘just a cat’ – as so many well-meaning friends have told me – but there was more to the loss than an animated ball of orange fur and purrs.

• That cat had been thrown out of a car in the night and abandoned as a small kitten. I had adopted him, fleas and all.
• He was my buddy when I worked at home. He was my shadow.
• He learned fast – no counter or table tops, no spraying the furniture. Smart and loving cats are hard to find and hard to forget, once you’ve had one in your life.

And the hardest part of losing my buddy was that I had to realize something about myself.

A disappointment…

You see I’ve always been an animal lover. Always felt that if I took them into my home than their safety and care was my utmost responsibility – second only to my family members.

And yet…

As we got out of the burning house, and took trips back in to grab this odd thing and that “just get it because you can” stuff – it was after the smoke became so bad we couldn’t go in again that I thought “Oh no! My kitty!”

After the laptops from the table.

After the books by the door.

After my purse and my daughter’s blanket.

So when push comes to shove, in my darkest, scariest moment of life, I am not the person who puts animals second only to my family. Forty-five years I thought this was ‘me’ – and it is not – and that is a harsh realization.

So be prepared to learn some things about yourself as a result of the house fire…you will not escape the growth if facilitates.

I repeat – “I am truly sorry for your loss,” and, “If you have lost a life, no matter how small, get professional help – even if only for an hour.”

If you need to talk about your own house fire, you can leave a comment below and I will share your pain with you. I will lend an ear, read your story, and understand your angst.

Until then, be strong – there is so much more to come your way and very little of it will be easy.